The Carrot on the String
Now that I’ve covered the basics of lucid dream sex, I’ll move on to the real trouble with using lucid dreaming to explore sexuality: the Carrot on the String.
How many times have you realized you are dreaming and then wasted no time finding a romantic partner to couple with, only to find that the would-be-lover walks away, transforms into someone who is not attractive, or becomes angry and menacing?
Maybe you disengage to find another partner, only for the process to repeat again, either by meeting resistance, disinterest, or bizarre character transformations that you couldn’t even tell your best friends about out of sheer embarrassment.
This is the “carrot on the string,” one of the greatest self-limiting constructs in lucid dreamwork. Just when what you want is in reach, something yanks the string and you are left grasping at air.
The reason this happens is because most of the time we do not really crave lucid dream sex, but sexual connection. Nor do we really want to “have” that attractive person. Long story short, once we stop treating our fantasy dream loves like objects (specifically: carrots) to have or possess, entire new worlds of possibility open up.