Sexual Lucid Dreaming!

This is a topic that never goes out of style. Exploring sexuality safely within the confines of the dream world is one of the prime motivations for learning how to lucid dream. The promise of “exciting dream sex” is a marketing hotspot, so to speak, for beginning lucid dreaming guides, books, and dozens of dubious meditation CDs.

What these guides don’t tell you, of course, is how difficult it is to perfect the art of exploring erotic energy in dreams, and what the pitfalls are along the way.

Let’s start with a little question and answer about the basics and then move on to the possibilities of exploring sex and sensuality in dreams.

Q: Is it true that you can learn how to lucid dream and have sex with your ultimate fantasy?
A:Yes, it’s true. In fact, the experience can feel like the real thing. All sensations in a lucid dream, after all, feel as real as the waking world, provided you have felt the sensations before (or similar sensations) and have working memories to draw from.

Q: Are dream orgasms real?
A: Yes, it’s been scientifically documented that orgasms in lucid dreams can be real orgasms, accompanied by muscular responses, a quickened heart-rate, and vascular tissue change too. This is true for men and women. However, not every lucid dream orgasm is necessarily a physical one; some seems to just trip the pleasure center in the mind, particularly if the arousal happens quickly or instantaneously. We also don’t know about the electrochemical angle yet, such as endorphin release, oxytocin levels, etc.

Q: What about wet dreams?
A: There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that lucid dreams that end in orgasm for young men can result in real-life ejaculation. I don’t know about any scientific studies that have proven this is a lab… that would be a tough sell for finding volunteers. In any case, ejaculating from a lucid wet dream is totally healthy, and probably an indicator of a good sexual health in general.

REM sleep is simply exciting from a biological standpoint.

Q: Why are my lucid dreams so erotically charged?
A: REM sleep is simply exciting from a biological standpoint. Erections and the female equivalent (engorgement) come and go all the time in normal dreams. Becoming consciously aware in a dream often means becoming aware of our bodies’ physiological arousal as we dream. There is also a connection between flying dreams and this physiological arousal — which may explain why the top two lucid activities are flying and sex!

Q: Is it unethical to have a sexual lucid dream about someone who is not my romantic partner?
A: That is not something I can answer for you. If it’s a concern, discuss it with your partner. It is also important to consider that private fantasies can affect relationships with real people, even those who invite sexual projections, such as celebrities. However, at the end of the night, things happen in lucid dreams that we often don’t intend, and I would never suggest that someone feel guilty about a dream they had because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Even St Augustine, the medieval Christian priest who essentially coined “original sin,” forgave himself for his wilder dreams.

Q: Can you get addicted to lucid dream sex?
A: I have never heard of such a case, because of the self-limiting factors in lucid sex dreams. In other words, lucid dreaming can fulfill fantasies, but unhealthy or dishonest fantasies result in inabilities to “follow through” with the dream scene, as I discuss below.